Globalboho. Life: the gnarls before the Gotdamn!

[Please read the following in Captain Kirk’s voice.].

Captain’s Log/ Star Date 11823209018.
it’s been…three days…that feel like an eternity…since I have shampooed my …Hair…with the Decommissioned products …in search of the truth in regards…to… the Natural…scheme Of things- How this crew…floating weightlessly above my head or in …the seat of my soul…will fare on this…Journey…remains to be seen. It’s been… rocky, but having an ensign in Esmerelda that is a combination of …Spock, McCoy and Scotty..Helps…keep this journey..Interesting. To infinity and bey-“

Oh for the love of GOD, it’s only been Three Days! Threeeeeee Daaaays! WoMan! Jeeeee…sss…uuuussssss!”

…I can handle this.
I’m not to wash my hair for 30 days.
And even Ego is along for the ride. It recalled my tweens getting my hair professionally done every three to four weeks after years of being dunked head first into a sink once a month for the Inquisition with bizarrely steadying fondness.  And in the summer we [the whole dang neighborhood, basically] all got our hair braided up the first weekend after school ended and not taken down until the end of August so we could run around like the feral, lord of the Flies latchkey kids we all were left to our devices all summer. Our only concerns were darting past the seemingly sleep, prying gazes of neighborhood old people who were allowed to smack us for doing bad shit.  Braided up in cornrows that spun out from your head like whips, there was less Summer city kid mange to rinse out of hair, and  neither sweat nor swimming pools, fire hydrants, slip N slides or summer rain posed any problems…but honestly, you weren’t Supposed to get your hair wet until like the Fourth of July. If you did it too early, you could mess up the style, frizz out the cornrows. So Ego had precedents it could refer back to as Esmerelda and I charted new territory.
I had one misstep- on like day two I  curiously tested  a bit of Carol’s daughter jamaican castor oil dressing  on my hairline. I had chopped it back to the quick for the summer #Hot. but I Never use that kind of stuff anymore. It was so perfumed that I thought I was going to Die…and then I inadvertently muffled that scent into my pillows as i waited for the 30 days to end so I could wash it out if sweating didn’t push it away. It did.
I’m not going to get into the cold, hard science of all this. There are millions of blogs where they  have gone deep on the  anatomy of the follicle, what sebum does and all that. We’ve read it all, us women on this natural hair journey, not putting it in as filler. And if you haven’t yet, seek it out. It’s proof of life in these parts. I’m just very Paul planted, Apollos watered about the whole thing. THAT is not my sector of Weird Science.
My division is the get down, What the hell is happening to my f ureaking hair?? Mode, “Suck it up, write it down and stay the course” style.
What conventional shampoo does besides just stripping your hair of oils you desperately need as a naturally curly chica is it becomes a crutch to your system doing what it is naturally designed to do.  What happens is we- and this is naturally curly or straight- get embroiled in the feedback  loop of hair life. Your wash it to squeaky clean, then have to rely on products to get it to the state you prefer, which suck the life out your hair in unison, then build up ON it, making you strip it a lil more vigorously the next time, which makes you have to use more additionals the next time, and so on.
And when a company says their products are designed to be synergistic with one another, just read it as code that this loop will be eased when you invest in making your loop ALL their products, and amplified when you try to bring in ringers from outside the team. Your hair gets addicted to the whole three ring circus like its smack, and everytime you’re about to break free, the dealer- the corps who have your hair strung out, your nose open by your desire to “take care” of your hair- drops a New, long awaited concoction. It’s the consumptive addictive aspect of this culture we were born into.

What Esmi and I decided to do is what I call a Foehn-out. It’s like going cold turkey on all that stuff…yes, even my much-loved Kerastase…and letting the hell that may come from my stopping Everything just… hit.  And be worked through. While hair is dry.
All I could do is let Esmi go Audrey Two mode.

Feed her.

Massage/scratch my scalp and feed it the oils i’d splice together. That was the answer, no matter what.
After two weeks, the two remaining weeks seemed six months away but I had to soldier through. Being introduced to my own unadulterated Sebum did things …to my germaphobic virgoan ass that would’ve made Freddy Krueger clutch his pearls…but I kept going.
If Nothing else, may this blog post prepare you for, if you so choose to follow my hair and I into the light,  the “clarification of your own god-given Sebum experience” in this 21st century. If you thought the idea of learning to gut a fish  this late in the game was rough a few weeks ago? It’s Nothing compared to this lol.
IT…was… ughhhhhhHorrible.
At first.
Ego was flipping out as I did what they say to do…which is ..fn get a grip( ya P*ssy!) and Handle it. Literally. Oh Dear God~ I wasn’t ready. But it did it. And it…It just…kept…coming. and coming… and I…either you handle it…or it settles in like cradle cap on a baby’s head.
Which is where it got interesting…because …I was still feeding it.
The spliced oils.
Plus I was taking  fermented cod liver oil and  butter capsules, biotin, niacin and magnesium, eating a lot of fish,  using hemp, ingesting loads of ginger, vinegars, wheatgrass, adding marshmallows and gelatin to everything, blackstrapping- My Eczema even came back  more seriously than I’d seen it since I was a child-  But I just kept oiling my scalp and feeding my gut, like I’d been through enough Healing Crises to know that even though I’d never been through This one, that was all it was. My entire system was shoved Out of whack to let me know how out of whack I’d been. And because i’d been on my nourishing detox, the whole thing slid into place effortlessly. Like going to an alignment specialist and getting cricked into the position from which you could Be straightened in the first place.

And then one day…in this month that had become a year and a half in less than thirty days I scratched my way through everything one final time… oiled it… and then reached for the  concoction i’d made with that beeswax I keep telling everybody God told me to buy. And greased my scalp with it.
Why? Because there was a call for Hemp in the protocol… that I’d know When to use it, too. But what minime kept tossing up was good, old fashioned   Softee and Kuza 100% Hemp grease, murmuring “I wish we could make out own.” All that mixologist dancing was my inner child and I intent on making a bona fide Health- inducing replacement for those products that my scalp got greased with once a week between washes as a kid. The beeswax gave it body instead of petroleum or mineral oil, and beeswax is known to be good for your scalp… and for setting dreadlocks[which was a lil nerve-wracking. But not to fear…the oil With it~ Magic].

 Everything stopped.

Fully sated … The Sebum…began to do what it is actually designed to do…which is chill the fuck out and  do the pH thing. My hair stayed moisturized. I’d take my hair out of my plaits and it’d shimmer in the wind, waving at everyone. I stopped having to Move the sebum because the sebum was free to be and do what it came into being to do.
Something in the beeswax  I’d melted into the essential oils, other oils and herbs made my system stop ringing the alarm.
I got to my 30th day…and sailed right past it. There is such a difference between truly moisturized, self cleaning hair and squeaky clean hair… so big…I didn’t want to go back.

the grow back
This is how much the hair I cut to the quick has grown back through all this #globalbohoexperimenting.

A few days past the 30th, I massaged and scratched and shook my scalp awake…then happily doused my dry hair with fermented rice water, massaging it  roots to tips, letting it soak in.  No added water, no dilution, just…it. Then I braided it back up  and let it air dry overnight, nonplussed.I’d already tested out Esmi’s response to Rice Water rinses in the lead-in to all of this 30 days to see what It do, the hair edition. Both fermented  and regular, both black rice water and white rice water.  Look up the Red Yao women and you’ll understand why.
We were in sync, Esmi, myself and now my scalp. I left it on for almost Two days… then climbed in the shower to rinse the rice water out, treating it as though IT were shampoo even though there was no lather. Then I  got inspired to, instead of resurrecting the Kerastase, to douse my now powerfully proteined up, de-rice watered scalp and dry hair with  something I had started taking internally. 20180924_0805051293344572.jpg Aloe vera juice- Not the gel, tho many swear by the gel.  I am not a user of gels outside of gelatin.  I worked it through like it was also shampoo… and let IT air dry.
The following morning…I felt for the first time what it feels like…when your scalp requests  oil.
It had nothing to do with dryness. She was fully moisturised, soft, billowy.
She was asking for Food.
“Feed Me Seymour~!” Style.
Which was one of the primary hypotheses.

We Can recalibrate and then reset this particular system on these ships we call bodies.

My hair is big right now.  I still haven’t shampooed it. I ordered in some shikakai-20180924_122941_burst011233387856.jpg An Ayurvedic fruit known for cleansing and strengthening your hair, and have studied how to use it.
As the experiment began, I hypothesized I was going to [barely] survive the month, wash with my shampoo, tears of virgoan joy in my eyes and gear up for the shikakai to be the next round.
The way my hair has turned out… It is looking like the shikakai may be the next step…after I see how long this rice water, aloe juice  two punch works.
As for the picture below, it is being included like those  disclaimers on every pharma product commercial seen on TV these days, to show you the surprise side effects of all this weird science.
Please note the softly wilding grays along the lower temples.  Please be advised that same gray previously was more…apparent…img_20180918_141059_5541453595527.jpgand also worked its way along the hairline to directly above approximately  mid brow height.  I’ve always found dudes with dark hair and shards of silver glinting in their heads hot anyway. However, that being said… it looks like my gray is going away in relation to all of this.  This weekend I also started adding ayurvedic herbs to my espresso, intent on leaving it be as I move towards the end of the pound of espresso grounds unless God intervenes with the gift of perfect beans showing up on this cliff without my ordering them in lol. The herbs actually make the espresso taste great. My  Morning drink is wild these days. I’ll report back more as I go forward.

“What Star Trek really stands for is man’s ability to face and overcome his problems… and better his world.”

-William Shatner

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