Thursday, from FUuuuuuuuuCcKkkk!to fn Tommie/ #Globalboho, the hospital edition.

Had to go to the hospital.

HR.

…Like “Immediately.” type sitch.

By the time I got to the above shot I was freaked OUT.

They’d taken my blood pressure &this seeming bastion of calm was through the roof. That duck in the water, maan. I was so close to the top of that “prehypertense”section at first that she started asking me about smoking and chewing tabbacky lol. I never knew smoking affected those numbers. When I said I didn’t she made me re-center and take some deep breaths…And I dropped to 113/67, basing at 57.

Satisfied, she left the room for the doctor and I promptly broke.

…F ureakin’ hospitals.

HR had my boss take me & he told me he’d had issues with doctors too until he found a good one.

“I hope that happens with you.” He said.

The doctor came in after I faced what I needed to face. The whole doctors are pushers & butchers, not to be trusted deep-seated, well-founded rant.

Cutting came up quickly, but as a not gone do thing. &then we started talking (with more trust)and He brought up osteopathy & acupuncture immediately.

I was like “Look Doc, I’m on my own, no family, covering everything, a gypsy-I don’t have the option of not working, stopping…the faster this can be fixed, the better.”

…I think I really said Doc, lol.

He smiled weirdly and went “Did you ever see Tommie?”

I told him I did. “… Just did a few weeks ago.”

“It’s one of my favorite movies! You just said I’m a Gypsy like Tina Turner-” and this Huge, bashful grin broke out on his face.

I Deadpan faced and then cracked up lol.

My first time with a doctor in years and God gives me a dork lol.

We fell into a chaotic K-hole of moviedom & I told I’m writing a musical, got led to Tommie to encourage me what I was feeling called to with my non musical ass was do-able – time stopped. Back throbbed during it, but time stopped.

Told him about the grandmother hospital thing, finally facing how that actually traumatized me. Standing in That gap as everybody else checked out.

It was jarring to have that convo With a doctor about his f’d up comrades.

He Al ing as F, tho.

He’s had the same injury, the same not being ableto get out of bed because the muscles can’t hear your brain or are a spasming. Got the shock of that on an noninjurous system. Which helped. Because I was ashamed. That I got hurt. I’m not a get-Hurter.

The appt ended. I have to go see an osteopath( not a cutter) in the morning. He may send me to an acupuncturist too.

A gel & Much Stronger naproxen, what I’d been taking wearing off as we waited for scripts. Which was a Dear God. I was barely walking as it was.

Boss &I are from that same programmable good ole days era.

Ya do good at the doctors, don’t defensively scaple or kick a nurse spazzing? Ya gets rewarded, kid lol.

We triumphantly hobbled into IN-n-Out burger lolol on the way back to Shambala.

…Hell yeah that’s a milkshake.

Scrip Alleve you HAVE to take with food. I did & it clobbered me. Woke up in a daze just now. Which is cool. I got no real sleep last night. Every position radiated pain up my back and down my legs, even in the dosed cloud. I have to go eat now at midnite just to take the next batch.

The whole being medded up and still barely being able to walk is a Mind Fuck. But surreal enough statewise to be plumbed writerhead style for sure. Imma use this shit.

First Worker’s Comp thing ever. THAT was surreal. That the boss was Right there was taken seriously as F. Surprisingly enough, there’s an occupational medicine section of hospitals. With its own pharmacy. They took care of EVERYTHING. On the spot.

I’m still a bit freaked out but the anger is mollified. Anger is fear, depression is Anger turned inside. That trying to do my job I fucked myself didn’t sit well at all. Getting admonished as I was administered that I should’ve dialed out Monday, could’ve avoided the 2nd injury…that that as an option wasn’t even one for try to push through everything Angel…is enlightening. The sensation of actual bona fide support is a trip. Push through/play hurt…as an option vs a dogmatic mandatory necessity blows my mind.

This could be a helluva a lot worse. Thank God it isn’t.

…And thank God for milkshakes… & for not having to be sleepdarted to be seen lol.

Keep me in your prayers for tomorrow.

I still am wary of hospitals. But at least the “well duh, Blanche-who isn’t?” Sunk in today lol.

Having a doctor say “yeah~ we’re not those kinds of doctors here. All we want to do is help you guys heal.” Was deep.

Real Alleve is like that first fight with Lundgren in Rocky 4. It knocked me the Fuck out like Brigitte Nielson was over its shoulder like “she said she wants sleep. Geeve eeet to Eure~” it Dosvedanya’d the Fuck outta me lol. I woke up like Apollo Creed I the afterlife lol.

“Yes! She’s happily cross-pollinating Rocky refs!…She’s gonna be alriiiight!”

About to shuffle twds a hot dog on a pretzel bun or something. G’night.

-AB

Leave a Reply